Time flies...

It is difficult for me to look back over the blog, to rehash it all is ... overwhelming.  I think somewhere in my tiny little brain I pretend or at the very least just don't acknowledge that we have gone through and are continuing to go through so much.  There are days when I drop off the boys and drive away in tears because I look back and see this man child with a metal rod instead of the leg he was born with and it washes over me like a giant wave over a sandy beach.  And yet, he has strength that I can't even comprehend!  I have always been afraid of... failure I guess, and here is this boy with one leg deciding to wrestle, for the first time!  Who does that? 
And then there's Jacob, I look at this young man that was the cutest most lovable little guy and know soon he will go out on his own and it rips my heart out!  Time goes so fast, I am not ready for this!  I am so blessed, I think about where I was and what I was doing at his age and oh sweet, sweet Jesus!  I am blessed!!! 
No one can prepare you for how much you are going to love your kids, and I think most of the time we don't realize ourselves how much we love them, but there are those defining moments when it hits us hard, sucks the very breath right out of us and lays us out flat on our faces with the knowledge that they are the driving force in our lives.
Last weekend  some of Scott's family came to visit, his sister, Sandy, two of her sons, Joe and Justin and his brothers, Bill and John. We had a really good visit, Sunday morning we all went to breakfast and out to Scott's nieces new home to have a look, everyone headed home from there. As we came in the house Scott was heading through the dining room into the kitchen and tripped and fell again, cut his eyebrow but not bad enough for stitches. It was really hard on him this time though, he was embarrassed so I told Jake to just let him be for a bit but keep an eye out when he tried to get up. It's so hard, if it were your child you could run and pick them up, kiss their boo boo and dry their tears. This is so hard for Scott, he has always been so self sufficient and now... to have to have help even getting up from the floor... I can't imagine how hard this is for him. There are already so many things that he can't do anymore, we take so much for granted. You know that saying "you don't know what you have until it's gone? Scott is living that, every second of every day...
Ok, so onto some lighter topics,  tomorrow is Daniel and Ashlee's first anniversary! It is also Jess and Darrin's 7th anniversary! So even amidst the trials there are triumphs! God is still God and He is still on His throne! Life may not perfect but it is still good and every moment that we breathe is another moment to celebrate...
“What you heard from me, keep as the pattern of sound teaching, with faith and love in Christ Jesus. Guard the good deposit that was entrusted to you—guard it with the help of the Holy Spirit who lives in us.” 2 Timothy 1:13-14 NIV

Busy, busy...

Well August has been crazy busy!  This is how the first week went, Monday I enrolled Jacob, Tuesday Caleb and I went to OKC to see his prosthetist, Wednesday I enrolled Caleb, Thursday we left for Texas to visit my mom and step dad and we were there until Sunday.  We went to church with them, ate lunch, packed up and headed home.  Monday (the 8th) it stormed and we lost our electric around 6 pm and it didn't come back on until around 10:30 Tuesday morning!  So Tuesday was spent catching up all the laundry and last minute stuff to get the boys ready for school.  Wednesday the 10th was the first day of school here and it was pouring rain!  Thursday I took the boys to school and stayed home all day to catch my breath and Friday mom came in.  Saturday we had a birthday party for Scott and my sister, Scott's birthday was Friday and Jessie's was today.  Everyone went back home yesterday evening and today we got up and went to church, this afternoon we mowed the lawn, we haven't had to do that since the first weekend in July because it's been so dry the grass was dying.  So see, it has been crazy busy!  This next weekend my oldest son will be in town for the weekend and the next weekend Scott's brother Bill will be in, I don't think it's going to slow down much this month! lol 
Caleb is taking wrestling this year, I am still not sure about this at all!  Jacob started welding in the afternoons at vo-tech, my babies will out of the house before I know it and I am not liking it at all!!!  Daniel and Ben are both working out of town and I don't like that either, I like them to all be here for family gatherings and I just feel better when I know they are close. 
Scott had a check up on July 14th and they are supposed to be getting him a breathing machine and scheduling surgery for a stomach tube but we haven't heard anything from them yet and he doesn't want me to call them yet.  His speech and balance have gotten much worse, he has fallen several times but thankfully hasn't been injured other than some scrapes.  He is still working some but has cut his hours back considerably, he has been training his replacement for a while now.  I think that covers everything for now...
“If we live, we live for the Lord; and if we die, we die for the Lord. So, whether we live or die, we belong to the Lord.” Romans 14:8

A new challenge...

So today we went to Oklahoma City to get a second opinion on Scott.  The Dr. confirmed the diagnosis of ALS.  I am not going to try to explain what it is so if you've never heard of it or just don't know exactly what it is then please google it, suffice it to say that it is a death sentence.  That being said if you have read this blog you know that we are strong believers in the word of God and we are standing on that word now and believing for healing! 
I still believe that GOD HAS A PLAN!!!   I don't have any idea what that plan is but to stop believing because something else tragic has struck our lives is NOT an option.  Scott and the rest of our family are standing firm in our faith and need your prayers and encouragement. 

Jeremiah 29:11

¹¹ For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Where does your strength come from...

So today I am sitting here talking to God and I was telling Him that I just don't think I am strong enough to go through another major battle and very clearly I heard Him say " you're not, but with Christ all things are possible Cindy."    So, in my weakness He is strong, I know that what ever the future holds He will bring us through that also...
Psalm 18:1,2
¹ I love you, O LORD, my strength. ² The LORD is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer;
   my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge,
   my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.

Seeking answers...

If you know us personally and have spent any time talking to Scott then you know there is something not right.  For about a year now his speech has become increasingly worse, it began with hoarseness and has become very slurred over the last few months and is now getting nasally sounding, he also has muscle cramps and host of other symptoms.  He finally gave me the go ahead to make an appointment and I did, it was scheduled for the 28th and by the grace of God they called back with a cancellation for today, so he went.  He goes for a throat CT on Thursday and so begins the journey to find an answer.  Please keep Scott in your prayers as we begin another chapter in our lives, if we are right about what we think it is it will not be an easy road.  I will be updating as we find answers, just please remember to pray for us.

Isaiah 26:3 (NIV)
³ You will keep in perfect peace
   those whose minds are steadfast,
   because they trust in you.

So it has been several months since I have updated and today is the 2 year anniversary of Caleb beginning chemo so why not today?
Everyone is doing well, Caleb is in school full time and loving it (not the work just the socializing).  He goes to the YMCA just about every day now so he can work out and play basketball.  Yesterday when I picked him up after school he got in the car and informed me he wants to take wrestling next year!  He has never had wrestling (other than with his brothers of course) so like any good mother I said NO!!!  Of course Scott seems to think this would be a good thing for him, is he crazy?  I think yes!  Enough of that subject it will just stress me out! lol 
All of Caleb's check-ups have been good, he goes back next month for another one.  He will continue to go every three months for at least a couple of years and after that I don't know how often he will have to go.  He is doing really well with his prosthesis, he has had this one for 6 months and has only had to have it adjusted once, they cut out a piece to allow for him to be able to fit all the way in and he broke the knee so we are still waiting to get that back, he really did a number on it ( he has a loaner). 
As for the rest of the family...  Jacob will be a junior next year and plans on going to vo-tech to take welding.  Seems my boys have decided to carry on the family tradition of welding.  My grandpa was a welder, Empire Erector's was the company name, I think he would be proud but concerned, it can be a rough life style.  Ben and Daniel are already welding and have been for a couple of years now and now Jacob is headed that direction, I'm pretty sure Caleb will do something different. 
I guess I need to take some new pictures and get them posted.  I think that covers the important things, life if going on and we are as normal as any family I think.  Life is good at the moment and I think living in the moment is probably how we should do it.  We are blessed, we have beautiful, healthy children and 3 grand babies that are a testament to life going on.  Colt will be 3 in May, Grace,will be 7 in June and Ryan and Tori had a baby (Jocelyn) in September. It seems like yesterday Grace was being born!  Grace loves to sit and draw (and yes she makes me sit and draw also) so as soon as they walk in she goes straight to the basket with all the art supplies, Colt drags out his tools every time they come over.  I have an old trunk with their toys in it and he will ask if he can open it and then he will ask " where are the tools mammom Cindy?"  They were here a couple of days ago and I got a trip down memory lane when every time I answered a question Colt would say "why?" .  I finally said "Colt do you drive your mama crazy asking why?"  he looked at me and grinned and said "yes".  They are precious, no two ways about it!  Yes, we are blessed...
Psalm 27 13&14
¹³ I remain confident of this:
   I will see the goodness of the LORD
   in the land of the living.
¹⁴ Wait for the LORD;
   be strong and take heart
   and wait for the LORD.

I miss this...

I really need to get back to this, I didn't realize how long it had been and that I miss it.  Writing was a way for me to work thru things, there was so much that I would write but delete that helped me work things out in myself.  We are going thru another huge battle but I am not at liberty to discuss it yet, just pray for our family as we find the answers and see where we go from here.