It is difficult for me to look back over the blog, to rehash it all is ... overwhelming. I think somewhere in my tiny little brain I pretend or at the very least just don't acknowledge that we have gone through and are continuing to go through so much. There are days when I drop off the boys and drive away in tears because I look back and see this man child with a metal rod instead of the leg he was born with and it washes over me like a giant wave over a sandy beach. And yet, he has strength that I can't even comprehend! I have always been afraid of... failure I guess, and here is this boy with one leg deciding to wrestle, for the first time! Who does that?
And then there's Jacob, I look at this young man that was the cutest most lovable little guy and know soon he will go out on his own and it rips my heart out! Time goes so fast, I am not ready for this! I am so blessed, I think about where I was and what I was doing at his age and oh sweet, sweet Jesus! I am blessed!!!
No one can prepare you for how much you are going to love your kids, and I think most of the time we don't realize ourselves how much we love them, but there are those defining moments when it hits us hard, sucks the very breath right out of us and lays us out flat on our faces with the knowledge that they are the driving force in our lives.
Last weekend some of Scott's family came to visit, his sister, Sandy, two of her sons, Joe and Justin and his brothers, Bill and John. We had a really good visit, Sunday morning we all went to breakfast and out to Scott's nieces new home to have a look, everyone headed home from there. As we came in the house Scott was heading through the dining room into the kitchen and tripped and fell again, cut his eyebrow but not bad enough for stitches. It was really hard on him this time though, he was embarrassed so I told Jake to just let him be for a bit but keep an eye out when he tried to get up. It's so hard, if it were your child you could run and pick them up, kiss their boo boo and dry their tears. This is so hard for Scott, he has always been so self sufficient and now... to have to have help even getting up from the floor... I can't imagine how hard this is for him. There are already so many things that he can't do anymore, we take so much for granted. You know that saying "you don't know what you have until it's gone? Scott is living that, every second of every day...
Ok, so onto some lighter topics, tomorrow is Daniel and Ashlee's first anniversary! It is also Jess and Darrin's 7th anniversary! So even amidst the trials there are triumphs! God is still God and He is still on His throne! Life may not perfect but it is still good and every moment that we breathe is another moment to celebrate...
“What you heard from me, keep as the pattern of sound teaching, with faith and love in Christ Jesus. Guard the good deposit that was entrusted to you—guard it with the help of the Holy Spirit who lives in us.” 2 Timothy 1:13-14 NIV
