Since I wrote last we have gained some new family members, Ben got married last Friday so I have gained a daughter-in-law and 2 grand kids. Natalie (most of us call her Nat) has a daughter (Nadia) that is 6 (7 in August) and Nathan just turned 4 in Feb. He and Colt are only 3 months apart in age and Nadia and Grace are right at 1 yr apart ( Grace will be 8 in June). The girls get along really well and were very excited to become sisters. Ben isn't on the road anymore and it is wonderful to have them home! I spent about 2 hours just talking to him today, I can't tell you the last time we did that.
Daniel is also off the road for the most part, if he goes on the road he is home on the weekends.
Caleb was out of school from Nov. til the end of last month and he has gone into a different school which makes it much easier for him to get around. He seems to like it ok, he does miss the socialization but that was a problem for him so it's probably a good thing!
Jacob got a new truck a while back (new to him) so he is off and running all the time now! He turned 18 last week! Seems like yesterday he was my cute cuddly little boy.
We've had some big birthdays this year, Ben turned 30 in March, Zac turned 20 on the 9th then Jacob was 18 on the 18th and Caleb will be 16 in October! Daniel and Tori are between big birthdays this year.
April was a very busy month for us, as I mentioned we've had 3 important birthdays, Scott's sister Lynda came to visit and while she was here we had my step-grandmothers burial, she had passed away early that week, the next week was Easter so the family came in, 2 days later Caleb had a 3 month check-up and my dad got a pace maker put in the same day! Then the wedding was the 20th. Last Saturday I don't think I did a single thing but lay around, I was completely exhausted!
Scott is wheel chair bound now, he has all but quit going down to the shop and if he does go it's only for about an hour, it's hard for him to be there since he can't work. He is no longer eating food except for a very small bowl of applesauce that he takes one of his pills in and he does still try to drink water. He gets all of his nutrition through his feeding tube and the rest of his med's go through the tube also. He is no longer able to speak so we got him an I-pad and added a speech app so he can still communicate, that seems to be working out pretty well.
I guess that leaves me. Everyone always asks how I'm doing and if I'm really honest the answer is "I don't really know". I don't think about it, if I did I might fall apart and there is no time for that! I have a handful of people in my life that give me amazing support and I have found that the more I try to reach out to others in need the easier it is live in my world. I have a friend that is going through a lot of her own trials right now and she always says to me that she feels guilty for telling me her problems, she doesn't understand that it helps to know we aren't the only ones going through tough times. To hear other peoples troubles takes me out of my own... It could be much worse than it is...
I told my mom the other day that as messed up and hard as our lives have been the last 3 1/2 yrs, I wouldn't trade it, as strange as it may sound, I love my life. I have learned so much over the last few years, like how much I love my kids, how much joy they bring me! Every time we have a family gathering and all my babies are here (yeah I know they're all grown up but they will forever be my babies), I don't have words to express it... it gets so loud and crazy and I look around and sweet, sweet Jesus, the deep, deep joy I feel to be able to touch them and tell them I love them, to have them give me hugs... God has been good to me, and I thank Him every day for every precious moment we have! Life is too short to dwell on the bad, we must be grateful for every good thing in our lives and for the strength to get through the bad things... So whatever tomorrow holds, this moment in time is precious to me and I am overcome with gratitude for this day, for the hugs from my boys, for the "I love you mama's" , for the knowledge that no matter how bad I mess up Jesus loves me, still...
Through all of this, over and over again this is the scripture that I hold to...
Lamentations 3:21-23(NIV)
21 Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope:
22 Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed,
for his compassions never fail.
23 They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.
for his compassions never fail.
23 They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.
