“ I sought the Lord; and he answered me; he delivered me from all my fears ”

There are days that my devotions for the day just really hit home, today is one of those days.  The title was the scripture for one of todays devotions and then the prayer that ended it, "Dear Lord, thank You for always listening to my conflicts and confusions. And thank You for Your constant presence."  speak volumes to my heart.  There are many nights that I lay down and I'm so tired mentally that prayer is impossible for me.  Now that being said, although I may not do a lot of formal "praying" I have a constant dialogue going with my Jesus.  There is no beginning or ending to this conversation and I must say it's mostly me just (looking for the right word) rambling...  I have learned that Jesus is the only constant in life, no matter what is or isn't going on in my life He is always there, whether I am talking to Him or not (and yes, there are times when I get angry and go silent) He never leaves my side.  If anyone moves, it is I so I have learned (or maybe that should be learning) to rest in His presence...

Devotion #2 starts with this scripture;  Micah 4:12 ( I love Micah) But they do not know
the thoughts of the Lord;
they do not understand his plan,
that he has gathered them like sheaves to the threshing floor.

This says it all, I can plan and fret and fuss all day long but it doesn't change the fact that God sees the big picture, I only get certain frames and never all at once or necessarily in what I would consider the right order.  So then this particular devotion (really it's more of a lesson for me) ends with these three questions:

1.How has God used a difficult situation in your past for your good?

            2.Is there a situation in your life right now that you can look at from a fresh perspective?   

             3.How can you share your experiences with someone else who needs encouragement today?

         Good questions, right? 

Question one is easy, every difficult situation strengthens my relationship with Christ.  I've said many times that I don't know how people get through things like their child having cancer, or their husband developing ALS, without a relationship with Christ.  How do they survive?  Without His strength, I couldn't do this even one day, let alone every day...

Question two, a fresh perspective, this is a little harder for me, I tend to get bogged down in self pity so I try to look at it from where Scott is sitting.  If I were in shoes, how would I cope?

Question three, that's too easy, I do this.  I didn't set this blog up, my ex daughter-in-law did.  She did it as a way for us to keep people up to date on Caleb's progress during his treatments but she also had been reading a lot of blogs and she had the insight to know it would help me.  There have been times that it has been my saving grace.  When I sit down to update it usually turns into something that I had no idea was inside me.  The words just pour out, so many times I have written things and when I read over them I don't know where it all came from and even as I say that I do know, God knows my heart and only He could write some (most) of the things that have been poured out on these pages and my prayer is that help someone, somewhere get through their own trials, that these words lead someone to Jesus, that they confirm something in someones heart, that someone can grasp something and know that they are not alone.

This is the scripture from another of todays devotions:

2 Corinthians 4:16-18(NIV)

¹⁶ Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. ¹⁷ For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. ¹⁸ So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.

So I just finished reading one of my daily devotions and had to share this portion,   
              

"But every time I said, "There's no way," I'd remember Jesus calling himself, "The way..." (John 14:6).

     He was the way. He was the One to follow. He was the One who would guide me each day.  He was the One I needed to pour out my heart to in prayer. He was the One to listen to. And He was the One who reassured me with so many promises in the Bible. One of those promises was Isaiah 58:10-11:

"... If you spend yourselves in behalf of the hungry and satisfy the needs of the oppressed, then your light will rise in the darkness, and your night will become like the noonday. The Lord will guide you always; he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land and will strengthen your frame. You will be like a well-watered garden, like a spring whose waters never fail."

  I can't tell you how many times I have said "Lord, I can't do this" and yet here I am, doing things I could NEVER do without the strength of the Lord!   I remember when Scott was very first diagnosed I was driving down the street talking to God, telling Him "I can't do this"  and I heard Him say "no, but I can".  We tend to get so wrapped up in our own abilities that we forget who we are in Christ!

Philippians 4:13
I can do all this through him who gives me strength.
Psalm 121
A song of ascents. I lift up my eyes to the mountains— where does my help come from? My help comes from the LORD, the Maker of heaven and earth.