Working back to normal...

I can't tell you how many times I have sat down to update this and just couldn't put my thoughts and feelings into words. The last time I posted anything was 2 weeks ago, so a lot has happened since then. We are trying to get back to some sort of normalcy, which, by the way is no easy task! Caleb is back in school, he chose to go back full time, I should have insisted on part time because it has been kind of hard on him. The leg gave him quite a bit of pain that first week, there was one day I kept him home to rest it. We had to go to OKC to have them work on it because he is putting on weight (thank you Jesus) and it isn't fitting right. He has an appointment on Feb 1st to have it recast and a new leg built. He has gained 10 pounds, he looks healthy for the first time in nearly a year. His hair is finally coming back, his color is back and then with the 10 pounds, he looks wonderful! On the other hand, I am at a loss... I find myself crying a lot. I have not allowed myself to really let go of all of the pent up emotions rolling around in there, soon, I will have to do that.
There is no good time for that I guess... There has just been so much to do that I...
The house needed put back together after the kitchen renovation, I had to get Caleb back in the school groove, there has just been constant movement, like I said, there is no good time to let go. Yes, the kitchen is back together, Scott has to put on the toe kick and some trim around the door frame and then I need to touch up some paint and it will be completely finished. I love it, my husband has talents he didn't know he had! He did a fantastic job, and it was a job he did NOT want to tackle. So, now the house is livable again, after all of the work that has been done it looks like a different house, it is beautiful as far as I am concerned, and so much easier for Caleb. Now then, while I was cleaning the other day I came across all of Caleb's school stuff from last year, it took me to my knees... the first thing I saw was a paper that he was supposed to have me sign because he was failing math, the date was Feb. 2nd, one day before his first MRI, in 24 hours time he went from his biggest worry being failing math and going to summer school to finding out he had cancer...(by the way when he started home schooling his teacher was shocked that he could actually do the work)! The second thing I found was a paper he had to write about a scary discovery, here is what he wrote...

In sixth grade I got a tumor in my leg.


When I was in the sixth grade, I found out I had a tumor in my leg. My family and I didn't know that it was a tumor until last week. So before that I was going through unimaginable pain and I still am in pain but the pains not as bad now because I take pain pills. Last week I went to Oklahoma City to have surgery on my leg. When I got out of surgery, I had to use crutches all weekend. Finding a tumor in my leg was pretty scary.

No mention of cancer in there, and by the time he wrote that he knew what it was. Can you imagine the courage it took to write that paper? He's such a tough little guy... While I was waiting to pick him up from school one day last week there was a boy running down the side walk toward my car, he had a hoodie like Caleb's and for a split second... then I remembered, he can't run anymore... yes, someday he will be able to I am sure, but right now, he can't, right now, walking is a chore. He fell at school the other day, he told me after he had been in the car for a couple of minutes, he didn't get hurt, maybe his pride, his foot drags sometimes (the prosthesis) and he kind of trips up, he usually kind of hops until he gets control of it but this time he fell. It's not easy for him to get up from the floor, most of us can use both legs to push ourselves back up, the prosthetic leg is more of hindrance in this instance that a help. This is hard to say, but falling was a good thing, he had been so scared of doing it that it had become this huge obstacle, now he has done it, over come it and can move on.
Ok, lets move on to something a little more light hearted...Jacob is going on his first date...
I can barely wrap my brain around the fact that he is old enough to date! He is going to the winter dance, this will be a double first for him, he's never been to a dance or out with a girl, my baby is growing up! We went and measured for a tux the other day, I will post pictures when the big day arrives! Today he went to OKC with her and her parents, and my nephew, D.J. Jess and Darrin were meeting them later. They went to an OU basketball game then later they were going to a Thunder basketball game. Now, Daniel came in last night for the weekend and this morning he called to see if Jacob was home, he wanted to come get him (they are buddies now), he was beside himself, some girl has come along and is encroaching on his territory! I have moments when "all is right in my little world" , right now, today, this moment, this is a good moment, Caleb is sitting on the couch playing on his computer, Scott and Daniel are down at the shop working on stuff, Jacob is on his way home, today is mine and Scott's 6th anniversary... Scott and I worked on getting those last little details finished in the kitchen today, it was a nice quiet day at home, I couldn't ask for more. My life is full of beauty...
Hebrews 13:5
5Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, "Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you."