Just thinking...

I have realized, it is getting harder for me to update this...
The weekend has been a mix of emotions for Caleb and I. He wanted so very badly to go out with the kids during the day on the 4th, he would go to the door and watch and finally he went to his room and laid down. Now, he could have gone out, no one was making him stay in and later when everyone, adults included, went out then he did to. He didn't shoot off as many of his fireworks as the other kids did because someone would have to carry his stuff because of the crutches. He didn't complain too much though. He is getting pretty frustrated, he can't even carry his own plate to the table, really, it's hard for him to even make his own plate. Yesterday, I was outside working in my much overgrown "garden" area and the boys came out. Now honestly, Caleb doesn't go outside much anymore so it's good he was outside. Eventually Jacob took off running and the dog was chasing him and after a couple times around the front yard Caleb said " I will never be able to do that again", I immediately told him yes he will, but it comes out of nowhere and hits you like a ton of bricks, "wow, he can't do that", Then there is the whole shower situation, it is really difficult for him to take a shower in either of our bathrooms. Last night we were watching tv and a commercial came on for one of those tubs that you can walk into, and he says to me " I want one of those!", he is right it would be so much easier for him, I would love to be able to remodel the bathroom so he could have that but it is not possible. Caleb is a little fish, he loves the pool, but now he can't even do that because we have no railings to hold onto to get up the steps, (it is an above ground pool). There are just so many things that are so much harder now...you just don't think about some of these things, and it seems like it is something new everyday. Some things will get much easier when he gets his leg, he will be able to regain some of his independence then but some things like showering and swimming...that won't change. He is still having a LOT of phantom pain at night, so we are not getting much sleep, at least I'm not, I let Caleb sleep really late because he is up half the night, I do have that option. We are still listening to music to get to sleep and once in awhile Caleb will actually sleep in his bed instead of on the sofa. I have gotten to where I sleep better in the recliner than in my own bed! That is just kinda sad, is it not?
New update...I just got off the phone with the Dr.s office and Caleb's echo is scheduled for tomorrow at 3 and the date to restart chemo is now on Thursday. He starts back up with a short treatment, this is the one that causes the mouth sores and nausea. They give him medication for the nausea but for the mouth sores he needs to drink a lot of fluids before during and after and he just won't do it, so please keep that in mind as you pray for him. Sometimes I look back over these before I post them and think they sound whiny, but I'm not whining or complaining, I am merely stating the facts of our lives. It will all eventually work out, God is taking very good care of us through this, and I know that He will continue to do so.
Lord, so often our weakest moments become our strengths. Thank You for the little things that help us to remember to push on.
Psalm 55:16-18 But I call to God, and the LORD saves me. Evening, morning and noon I cry out in distress, and he hears my voice. He ransoms me unharmed from the battle waged against me, even though many oppose me.