This too shall pass...

The last few days have been kinda rough. A few days ago Caleb commented to Jacob and I both that we were lucky, we have two legs and then in the middle of the night I went to check on him and he was standing in front of the mirror looking at himself. The look on his face was so sad, it was very hard not to cry, but sometimes crying with him isn't the answer. I told him it is ok to feel that loss but that he has to go on, feeling sorry for himself will destroy his life. Thankfully, he doesn't get like that very often. Wednesday evening he was trying to get his shoe out of his closet and fell, hard, on his good leg, and cut his knee open a little bit. Yesterday, here at the hospital, I had come out of the restroom and was drying my hands and he asked me if it hurts me, I asked if what hurts me and he lifted his leg...I said yes, sometimes I look at him and it hurts me, for him...Right now we are still at the hospital doing chemo, we will get out of here late this afternoon. He had a pretty rough night. First he had a headache then his knee started hurting where he fell on it and then the phantom pain kicked in, 3 hours after he told the nurse he had a headache she brought him pain pills, by this time he was so worked up that I asked about the Valium so she had to call down and order it, and honestly I can't tell you how long that took. I don't know when we finally got to sleep. Then he woke up and needed to go to the bathroom...Now I am sure most of you know that when you are in the hospital they have to measure every thing, so that means Caleb has to pee in what they call a "urinal". So...he wakes up at around 4, needs to "go", I am sleeping, and I wake up to what sounds like water pouring on the floor... It is hard for him to hobble to the bathroom with one crutch, and his IV pole so I told him not to, to just sit on the edge of the bed, well he stands, but ok...so he lost his balance, and missed the urinal... I can laugh now, it was not funny at 4 this morning... so he got his balance back and then lost it again and fell over, barely landing on the very edge of the bed, gets up and starts to go the other direction! It could have been very bad! After they came and mopped and Caleb was back asleep , me and God, we had us a nice long talk!!! I let Him know just what I thought of all of this, not that He didn't know already, I just hadn't said it to Him. I tend to put up walls, shut people out, including God. It is very hard for me to lean on any one or anything, even God. I just almost can not ask for help and that is exactly what God wants us to do, ask, seek, knock... He wants to help, to be needed, wanted, to just be there...I got on here at around 4 this morning and posted on of my devotions for the day and a couple of scriptures so I'm gonna leave it at that, please read it also.