Caleb and I will be missing church this morning because on Friday when he did his cbc's his white cell count was extremely low so he is very susceptible to any illnesses floating around. He was very disappointed because he really wanted to go to school Friday. He has a Dr.s appointment tomorrow, it is just a pre-admit for chemo and they may bump it due to his counts, we'll see. Hopefully by tomorrow all his counts will be good and we won't get off track on the completion of his chemo. He is so very ready for life to be some sort of normal again. I would have to agree with that. Scott Sabolich called last week to let me know that they finally know what it is that the insurance company wants from them so maybe now the leg process will finally get moving. Caleb is tired of using crutches and only leaves the house to go to necessary appointments, across the street to his friends house, church and to school the first day. I haven't heard from the school to know about a teacher yet. I will try to update again tomorrow after we see the Dr. .
Through all of this, I have fought feeling guilty for not talking to God more, and this morning, while doing my daily devotionals, it dawned on me that I don't have to talk...He knows me, He knows my every thought. I don't have to talk because I know that He already knows so there is no need for words. Does that make sense? This morning it just all came together and I finally relaxed in the knowledge that He is there (here) and He knows, and it is ok if I don't talk. We used to sing a song at church, some of the words are the way I am feeling this morning... "I wanna sit at your feet, drink from the cup in your hand. Lay back against you and breath, hear your heart beat. This love is so deep, it's more than I can stand. I melt in your peace, it's overwhelming." This morning, I feel so close to Christ, that I can feel the warmth of His presence and there is just no need for words...
Psalm 94:18-19When I said, "My foot is slipping," your love, O Lord, supported me. When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought joy to my soul.
3 comments:
Thank you for this post. I know what it's like to feel guilty for not "doing" the things that we think are required to be a Christian. "Pray without ceasing". And since prayer is simply talking to God, then we can "pray" all day long! I don't even want to tell you some of the places where I pray!!!!! But God looks on the heart and could care less about where or when ... just as long as my heart and mind are on Him. Thanks again!
I love the scripture from Psalms! I think it's such a beautiful picture of who God is!
You guys are in my prayers and in my heart.
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