We are home from the hospital, we got here around 3:30 yesterday, just in time to pick up Jacob and feed him before his game. Jake had his very first football game last night, he didn't get to play but he sure looked good in his uniform! (Big grin here from mom) They won, 24-12, yeah!!! He was running around saying "we're undefeated!" Yeah, he's a goober.
Caleb had to have a blood transfusion before his last round of chemo night before last. He was so ready to come home (me too). I think it is getting harder to go do this instead of easier. It is easier in that we know what to expect but harder to just do it. I let him go to school today and it was harder to drive away today than it was on the first day of school. I cried all the way home. I prayed as I drove away that God would protect him from all sickness, to keep him from falling and to protect him from meanness. I know that no one made fun of or picked on him the last time he went but I also know there is a first time for everything and some kids can be very cruel. Pastor Doug came to see us this trip and has asked Caleb to do an interview. Doug is going to do a sermon (sermon may not be the right word) at Youth Convention on heroes. He wants to use Caleb as an example and would even like for him to be there and to come out on stage (with other people). Caleb isn't sure about this yet so we will see what happens. Well I think I have you all caught up for the moment, I am including something from one of my devotions from today. I waited to read them until I got home from dropping off the boys, solitude, just me and God, I can hear Him speak that way! I know all of you mom's know exactly what I mean! I will add my own thoughts in red so you know what is mine and what inspired me to think.
Psalm 46: 1 "God is our refuge and strength, a tested help in times of trouble." One of my absolute favorite scriptures!
I don't like pain. I dread uncertain times. When life spirals out of control, I often withdraw from friends and family in an attempt to hide. Stress can paralyze me and make it difficult for me to function normally. Small tasks become huge mountains as the clouds gather and the winds pick up speed. To think that storms are for my good is a stretch to say the least. (All of that describes me perfectly! I seriously couldn't have described me any better! I have dealt with all of this through this journey we are on, and even Caleb has gone through the withdrawing part.)
I know you have repeatedly heard and even taught the truth that we are strengthened by our storms. Honestly, there have been times when I felt as if I would explode if one more person told me to praise God for my storm.( I will add, you don't praise Him for the storm, you praise Him THROUGH the storm!) Looking back, however, there is absolutely no doubt that my greatest growth has come during my most fierce life storms. Each storm has become a spiritual marker, a testament to the sufficiency and faithfulness of God. ( I have to agree with that) It is from those markers that a powerful life is shaped and molded.
Father, give me new eyes to see Your hand at work in the midst of my life storms. I surrender my fear and disbelief to the certainty of Your truth. I choose to trust You even if I don't understand You. Through the power of the Holy Spirit, I ask that You strengthen me for whatever tomorrow holds and help me to remember that tomorrow is in Your hands.
In Jesus' name, Amen( I thought that prayer was spot on so I left it alone!)
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