Well... we went to the Dr. today, Caleb's counts are good so he goes in for his last chemo before surgery. This is a five day treatment. We have a tentative date of June 8th for Caleb's surgery. The Dr. said the surgeon will take out the bone from just below his knee (including that growth plate) to just below the middle of his shin. According to his Dr. they will replace it with a dead bone, with either a rod through the middle or screws and bolts to attach to bone. Sometime before the surgery we will meet with the orthopedic surgeon to discuss all of his options. He was VERY upset earlier this afternoon but now he is acting fine...this child is nearly impossible to read. He absolutely refuses to talk about any of it, on an up note, he is eating and drinking again. I refuse to be discouraged, it could be so much worse! I got an e-mail from my (ex)mother-in-law the other day and one of her brothers is dying of cancer, lung and brain. I will be completely honest, I do not know how I feel right now. I do NOT want him to lose that growth plate. I want his bones above and below the removal to continue to grow. His bone below the surgery and his foot will continue to grow, which is very good. I was concerned about his feet staying the same size. I want to scream and throw a fit and say this is not fair, but life is not fair, no one gets out unscathed. So...I will continue to keep my chin up so that Caleb can keep his up!!! Like I have said all along, God has a plan, we just don't know what it is yet. We will all come through this stronger than before. I remember a sermon Pastor Shorey gave several years ago, he used the scripture Ecclesiastes 7:8 The end of a matter is better than it's beginning, and patience is better than pride. He said that does not mean everything will be better, as in good, but that anything you do, if you do it long enough,or you work at it hard enough, you will get better at it. So we could get angry and bitter and we would get really good at it or we can look at this with a positive attitude, Caleb is alive and only losing a small portion of his bone. Instead of Caleb dying, this cancer is dying!!! I think I will close for tonight, I need to gather my thoughts and get alone with God for a bit.
Psalm 41:10 So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
Psalm 41:13 For I am the Lord your God. who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, do not fear, I will help you.
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