Definitions...

My mind has been swirling with thoughts lately, they flit in and out and I can't seem to get them to form coherent sentences. Finally, today on the way to church, some of them began to come together, and then during Pastor Micah's sermon this morning (very good by the way) more of them began to fall into place, so I will try to put all these jumbled words down.
Cancer: one of the meanings is: anything bad or harmful that spreads and destroys. I can tell you from experience that almost everyone has some form of cancer growing in them. What ? Yes, think about that meaning...and then think about this, hatred, bitterness, resentment, anger, envy... I personally have and to be perfectly honest, still am, dealing with a few of those things myself. They grow, fester, eat away and destroy so much of our lives, that is cancer. Please, examine yourself...is there something growing in you that is killing a part of you? Let it go! Lets run through that list...hatred- when my kids say "I hate you", I ask them if they want that person that they think they hate to burn in hell for all eternity, because that is hatred (they always adjust the words they use). There is someone in my life that I struggle with those feelings over, it makes me sick to have so much BAD feeling for this person. I take these feelings to God quite often, but believe me when I tell you, it is a cancer, if I don't stop it, it will over take me and destroy a big part of our lives. Bitterness- who among us has not had some bitterness in our lives? This also is something I am struggling with. Caleb could let bitterness over losing his leg destroy him, but he is choosing life! Resentment, anger- both of these I also understand...why my son? But then again, I wouldn't even wish that on that person that I fight hating! There are so many things that we allow to eat away at us, to destroy good things in our lives. We allow anger to turn into resentment, which turns to bitterness, which turns to hatred, and it destroys relationships and lives. Think about how many marriages, families there are that don't have to fall apart, if we would just let go of those feelings, let forgiveness come in and take over. So...what's eating at you? What do you need to let go of? We are never truly happy and at peace with ourselves when we hang onto these things, so go through your inner closets, take out the trash and burn it up! Take it the cross and leave it there! If Christ could hang on that cross and say " Father forgive them, they don't know what they are doing", then how can we hang onto the petty nonsense we hang onto? And yes, I understand that not all of it is petty, but in the long run, how much time and energy do you want to waste on self righteous indignation? Some of us have gone through some pretty horrific things, use those things to help others, to build others up, to bring life!!! Don't allow some form of cancer to destroy your life, your marriage, your children's lives, other relationships... Choose life!!! When we are angry, we take it out on those around us, all of those bad feelings I talked about...they build walls, please, please, break down those walls. I know this has not been about Caleb today, but then again, in a way it is. I could let all of those feelings I mentioned destroy our lives, those things would all rub off on the people around me and destroy them also... I fight one thing or another every day so that all of this will not destroy our lives, our family, our purpose...If these feelings destroy us, then what purpose has this served? God does have a plan...
Psalm 27:13 I am still confident of this: I WILL see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living.

By the way, my stepmom passed away on Friday, please keep my dad in your prayers. The service is tomorrow at 2pm. After its all over and everyone gets back to life, it will be rough for a while.